dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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