remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
