mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
