I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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