When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
