nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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