so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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