I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
