he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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