saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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