Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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