Nicole vs. Life
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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