We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
