And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Your cock deserves a montage
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize