Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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