if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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