I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
