Screwed.edu
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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