it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
