I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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