He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
