He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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