she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
