wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
