She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
