i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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