Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
