Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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