Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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