I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize