WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
