Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize