the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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