So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize