Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
