508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize