Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
