I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
