You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
