Don't make out with my wife yet
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
