what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
