I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
