i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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