It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
