The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can you bring me the toilet please
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Randomize
