You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
