Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
