His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
