Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry whyyyyyyyy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(571): View more from Virginia

so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare

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(303): View more from Colorado

We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.

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(817): View more from Texas

Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.

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(424): View more from California

you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes

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(630): View more from Illinois

I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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(303): View more from Colorado

And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"

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(970): View more from Colorado

I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list

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