How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
