remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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