Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
