i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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