hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
