so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
