Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize