Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
home. puking in laundry basket.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
