So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
