What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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