OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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