Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i now understand why vodka
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
