Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
