ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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