Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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