I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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