ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
