Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
