Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
