She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
